亲爱的迪德: MY wife was so upset by her mum’s death that she sought comfort from another guy.
And the fear of losing her has turned me into an insecure and jealous man.
我是 42, my wife is 40 and we have two children, aged eight and six.
She was always very close to her mum, whose unexpected death at the age of 66 hit my wife hard.
It made her depressed and she withdrew from me and the kids.
She started staying late at work and I soon found out she was messaging a colleague after hours.
He even sent her a dirty photo although she didn’t send one back.
She says nothing physical ever happened between them. Talking to him was just an escape from her grief.
But I am heartbroken and feel I can’t trust her.
I check up on her constantly and we argue.
I don’t know how our marriage can recover.
迪德说: Going through bereavement can bring a couple closer but it can also drive them apart.
Often, when someone is bereaved they avoid the people closest to them because they cannot face dealing with the pain.
Your wife was distracting herself with this colleague’s attention.
You clearly love your wife and want to make things work.
Talk to her and say you want to rebuild trust and support her.
It would help her – and your relationship – if she would have grief counselling.
My support pack on Bereavement explains where to go for the right help.