God save us from minor royals like Prince Andrew with major attitude problems

CHARLIE CHAPLIN once said: “Judge a man not by how he treats his equals, but by how he treats his inferiors.”

In which case, if claims by his former maids are anything to go by, 安德鲁王子 can arguably be judged as an entitled plonker.

Harry chose to make his bed in Los Angeles and now he must lie in it

Harry chose to make his bed in Los Angeles and now he must lie in it
Prince Andrew can arguably be judged as an entitled plonker

Prince Andrew can arguably be judged as an entitled plonker

Following on from former Palace worker Charlotte Briggs’ tales of his foul-mouthed tantrums if his teddies weren’t arranged to his liking, ex-maid Janette McGowan says the Queen had to intervene when her second son nabbed the Sandringham bathroom intended for Charles during a holiday stay.

Describing Andrew as “spoilt”, she said there was nothing special about the bathroom — it was simply because he resented the fact his older brother was regarded as “superior” to him.

Commonly known as spare-not-heiritis.

哈里王子 appears to suffer from it too.

It was reported this week that he’s intent on pressing ahead with his legal action against the Government — however embarrassing it may be for his grandmother — because the Home Office is holding fast on its decision to not let him pay for police guards and all the guns, whistles and motorcades that come with them.

A Government source says: “Other minor royals manage to function in normal life without armed guards. The Home Office is refusing to blink.”

Minor royals. 哎哟.





That quietly damning throwaway line removes Harry from the inner sanctum of the monarchy and plonks him among the outer echelons who largely fend for themselves. And it must bite.

But he chose to make his bed in Los Angeles and now he must lie in it.

Speaking of which, when Harry and Meghan started selling their “brand” (nope, me neither) to high bidders such as Netflix and Spotify, I wrote in June last year that it would be the law of diminishing returns because there is little substance beyond the royal titles they are so keen to hang on to.

All gong and no dinner

But even I couldn’t have predicted quite how quickly they would appear to run out of steam.

在十二月 2020, Spotify announced a reported £18million podcast deal with the Sussexes, who it described as “citizens of the world (spew) who wanted to “elevate under-represented voices”.

然而, it appears it is their voices that are under-represented, because so far they’ve failed to broadcast anything beyond a 33-minute “holiday special” with their celebrity mates.

昨天, it was reported that Spotify is now looking for in-house staff to oversee any production and cover “every step” of the process. 换句话说, do the lion’s share of the work.

Harry and Meghan have so far set up 11 companies to channel their various activities through.

但到目前为止, as my old grandma used to say, it’s all gong and no dinner.

所以, just like his entitled “spare not heir” uncle Andrew, is Harry going to continue riding the coat-tails of the monarchy while making lots of “look at me” noise and throwing his toys out of the pram?

Or is he going to come good and become a self-made millionaire through his own hard work and creativity?

马上, it’s not looking very promising.

Road of rubbish

ROAD safety campaigners are worried about changes to the Highway Code instructing cyclists to ride in the middle of the road so they’re more visible to motorists, saying it could lead to an increase in road-rage incidents if drivers feel they are being slowed down.

老实说, it will make little difference in the centre of London, where the average speed of a car is now around 7mph and a bike averages 13mph.

安吉拉(Angela), not Sam, the mane event

THE devil, 相信他是执法者,他遵守了, is in the detail. And the details everyone’s getting excited about in this photograph of Labour Deputy Leader Angela Rayner and fellow MP Sam Tarry are his untied shoelaces and what looks like a toothbrush poking out of his coat pocket.

Both possibly indicating a quick exit from an overnight stay at Ms Rayner’s taxpayer-funded London flat.

Angela Rayner and fellow MP Sam Tarry

Angela Rayner and fellow MP Sam Tarry

But sorry, I just can’t tear my eyes from Angela’s cascading mane of curls, so voluminous that one imagines it might even be visible on Google Earth.

Is it all real or bolstered by hair extensions? Does she have to tong it every morning or does it last between washes?

How does a busy woman find the time for such impressive hair maintenance?

安吉拉(Angela), 41, once explained that it’s down to her chaotic childhood.

她说: “My mum wouldn’t be able to get up. She just didn’t have the motivation.

I got bullied because my hair was always a mess. That’s why my hair is always immaculate now.”

Ah. So perhaps it’s actually a teensy-weensy hairbrush in supportive Sam’s pocket?

THE “anything but Boris” agitators in Parliament had better be careful what they wish for.

After all, America went for the “anything but Trump” option – and look how that turned out.

Naked? Nudes to me

NAKED hiking is, er, taking off in the States.

The average age is around 40, it’s a 50-50 split of men and women, and the rules are simple: Carry enough supplies for the day, wear sunscreen and don’t offend anyone.

Naked hiking is, er, taking off in the States

Naked hiking is, er, taking off in the States

Here’s US-based Erin Sortwell hiking the Appalachian Trail in 马萨诸塞州 with a sizeable rucksack, a pair of Crocs for rougher terrain and a large leaf for modesty.

Hardly “naked” though, is it?

I’ve seen people wear less on a sub-zero night out in 新城堡.

Downing out

IT’S rumoured that Downing Street police have supplied “extremely damning” testimony to the ongoing “Partygate” enquiry.

哪个, if true, rather begs the question: Why didn’t they impart it at the time, given their police colleagues countrywide were eagerly feeling the collars of any member of the public thought to have breached the rules?

Not so smart

MONSTROUS mass-murderer Anders Breivik wore a smart black suit, white shirt and silk tie as he appeared in a Norwegian court to request parole.

Ah yes, the wardrobe choice of any defendant who wishes to convey the impression they are suitable to be released back into society.

很遗憾, he also did a Nazi salute while clutching a sign saying: “Stop your genocide against our white nations.”

So I reckon he may have blown it.

Ireland you joking?

TWO chancers propped up a dead body at a Post Office counter in Ireland and tried to claim his pension.

显然, one of them was related to him.

But if the waiting time at my local PO is anything to go by, there’s every chance they could have found him in the queue.

Gladys gets it

GLADYS BANKS celebrated her 107th birthday with her nightly glass of sherry at a care home in 康沃尔.

Born in London during World War One, 她说: “I got bombed and blown up in the air – that sent me deaf.

Today’s moaning Minnies have it very easy indeed

Today’s moaning Minnies have it very easy indeed

But I’ve enjoyed everything and I’ve got nothing to grumble at.”

An admirably upbeat, no-nonsense attitude that will hopefully remind some of today’s moaning Minnies they have it very easy indeed.

Unsocial media

SINGER Nick Jonas and wife Priyanka Chopra have welcomed a baby via surrogate.

他们 posted the news on Instagram, then added: “We respectfully ask for privacy during this special time as we focus on our family.”

Why announce it on social media in the first place?

Why announce it on social media in the first place?

Begging the question: Why announce it on social media in the first place?

Novak’s a Djok-er

NOVAK DJOKOVIC is in talks with lawyers to sue the Australian government for £3.2 million over his “ill treatment”.

Good luck with that, me old cobber.

Prince Andrew denies getting a foot massage from a young Russian woman in Newsnight interview