QUERIDA DEIDRE: I HAVE fallen for one of the dancers at the strip club I visit most weekends – I can’t get her out of my head.
It was only this summer that I first went to a strip club.
Para más consejos de Dear Deidre
At first, I was reluctant to go, but my Army pals persuaded me to.
I protested that my girlfriend of three years would go mental if she found out, but they all laughed and insisted there was no way she would know.
Estoy 29 and my girlfriend is 26.
The club was far more upmarket than I was expecting. Instead of a sleazy atmosphere, it felt sexy and relaxed.
That first time, two of my friends got a private dance in one of the VIP rooms but I was happy to enjoy the women on stage. The next weekend we all went again and this time a stripper caught my eye.
She was incredibly toned and confident. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Without a thought for my girlfriend, I knew I had to have a dance from her.
I ended up having three that first night. Después, I hardly slept as I kept replaying her moves. And of course I imagined what it would be like to bed her.
My mates and I got into the habit of visiting the club every couple of weeks or so, and when they didn’t, I went alone.
I always had a dance with my favourite stripper. Although I tried to limit myself to two dances, there were times where I couldn’t resist and paid for more.
At £30 a dance my bank balance soon started to suffer. I love a dominant woman and this stripper knew exactly how to take the lead.
She was so attentive as soon as she saw me and made me feel ten foot tall.
Unfortunately my girlfriend got suspicious, as I got cold feet about looking for a flat to buy together as we’d planned.
Get in touch with Deidre
We’d saved £11,000 for a deposit. She didn’t realise I’d dipped into my share so it was actually down to £9,000.
I felt awful but couldn’t stop visiting my stripper. I split up with my girlfriend, telling her I wasn’t ready to settle down.
I do miss her but still can’t get the stripper out of my head.
Lo más leído en Dear Deidre
DICE DEIDRE: I’m sorry to burst your bubble but your favourite stripper doesn’t want you, she wants your money.
Perhaps you were scared of taking your relationship to the next level of commitment or you had both started to take your relationship for granted.
Stop going to this strip club or you will lose the rest of your savings.
Now is the time to ask yourself what you are running away from.
Talking to a counsellor may help you gain some clarity about what happened.
I’m sending you my support pack on How Counselling Works which explains more.