I cut off my abusive mum but she’s very ill & I’m not sure if I should visit

亲爱的迪德: AFTER decades of emotional abuse, I’ve cut my mother out of my life, but now she is very ill in ­hospital and I’m not sure if I should visit.

She has put me down, called me ugly, sworn at me and tried to control me.

I cut off my abusive mum but she's very ill in hospital and I'm not sure if I should visit

I cut off my abusive mum but she’s very ill in hospital and I’m not sure if I should visit

Listen to the NEW Dear Deidre podcast

Resident agony aunt Sally Land is taking The Sun’s legendary advice column from the page to podcast.

Each week, Sally will be joined by an expert and some of your favourite celebs to give helpful, entertaining advice to listener problems.

A brand new episode will be available every THURSDAY.

这里, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Three years ago, when I was 35, I had finally had enough of her behaviour. 她现在 68.

I decided not to see her or speak to her again.

Her response was to cut me out of her will.

I’ve been much happier since. But Dad – who is 70 岁, lovely and also her victim – called me last week in tears to say she had been diagnosed with stage 4 癌症.

与迪德尔取得联系

每个问题都会得到个人答复, 通常在 24 工作日的小时数.

发送电子邮件至 deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

您也可以在 亲爱的迪德雷官方 脸书专页.

He needs my support. I’m also worried I might not be able to live with the guilt and regret if I don’t see her.

然而, I know that she will be abusive again and that’s not good for my mental health. 我该怎么办?

迪德说: While your mother doesn’t deserve your love, you’re a good person with a sense of duty.

Going to see her might be painful and difficult, but at least you’ll be there for your dad, and won’t have to live with the regret of deciding to stay away.

If she is abusive, turn and walk away. Could you meet your dad on his own to show him you still love him?

Contact the charity Stand Alone, which helps people estranged from family. It can support you (standalone.org.uk).