DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I told my wife about my children from a previous relationship, I “forgot” to mention I also have two other older kids with another woman.
Now she’s found out I lied and has kicked me out.
We have been married for three years. I’m 46 and she’s 40.
I didn’t tell her because I’m estranged from those two daughters, 25 and 23, after their mum turned them against me.
I have had no contact with them for years.
I was embarrassed, and didn’t think my wife needed to know.
She went mad, saying she couldn’t trust me, that she didn’t know me, and calling me irresponsible.
She found out because she discovered some paperwork I’d hidden in a drawer when she was tidying the spare room.
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I know I should have told her about my daughters, but she shouldn’t have gone through my stuff without asking.
Now we’re not speaking. I’m staying on a mate’s sofa, and I don’t know how to resolve this.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Not telling your wife about the existence of your two eldest children is rather a large omission.
Her upset is understandable. Not only did you lie to her, you also didn’t trust her enough to be transparent.
She probably wonders what else you’d lied about, or are hiding.
Give her time to absorb this, then contact her and say you’d love to sort this out. Hopefully, she will agree, and you can explain.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, may help.