I’m finding it really hard caring for my 81-year-old mum with dementia

GELIEWE DEIDRE: I’M caring for my mum, wie is 81 and has dementia.

Everyone asks how she is but nobody asks how I am.

My sister is younger, with a family of her own, and she visits us, but she tends to moan about the things she feels I’m not doing

My sister is younger, with a family of her own, and she visits us, but she tends to moan about the things she feels I’m not doing

If they did, I’d tell them I’m struggling. I’m a 55-year-old divorced man and I’m Mum’s main carer.

We also have paid carers who call in twice a day.

She’s not too bad during the day but if she wakes up at night she can be unpredictable.

She has hit me in the past and she even spat at me last week.

Kontak Deidre

Elke probleem kry 'n persoonlike antwoord, gewoonlik binne 24 ure weeksdae.

Stuur 'n e -pos na deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

Of stuur 'n privaat boodskap aan ons via die DearDeidreOfficial Facebook -blad.

Ons verander alle persoonlike besonderhede in ons gepubliseerde verhale om u identiteit te beskerm.

My sister is younger, with a family of her own, and she visits us, but she tends to moan about the things she feels I’m not doing, like taking Mum out for walks every day.

I feel exhausted.

Vir meer advies van Beste Deidre

Geen probleem is te klein nie, te groot of te skaam. Lees ons persoonlike antwoorde hier.

DEIDRE SYS: Many carers feel their needs and feelings are sidelined.

Tell your sister you need more support. Explain what is happening and ask her to take over at least some nights so that you can get some respite.

You are doing an amazing job but as your mum’s condition worsens, a full-time care setting may be kindest for you all.

Find support through dementiauk.org (0800 888 6678).

VOLGENDE IN VANDAG SE LIEWE DEIDRE I’m worried I won’t be able to perform when I actually meet someone

LEES DEIDRE SE NUWE FOTO -KASBOEK Paul doesn’t want to tell his parents that he’s gay

KONTAK MY Hoe die bladsy werk en hoe om ons te kontak