KERRY Katona has revealed she’s having doubts over her fourth wedding – and even hoped it would be cancelled.
النجم, 40, says her three failed marriages have left her terrified of tying the knot with fiancé Ryan Mahoney, 32.
Kerry’s first marriage was to Westlife singer Brian McFadden ending in 2006 after four years.
Kerry went on to marry drug dealer Mark Croft in 2007 and ended their union in 2011.
Her third marriage, to George Kay, who died in July 2019, ended in 2017 after three years.
Talking about her three ex-husbands, Kerry said: “My first husband left me for somebody else. My second one was my drug dealer. And my third one beat the s**t out of me. وبالتالي, yeah there is massive anxiety – they all failed.”
On her wedding to Ryan, قالت ال بريد يومي: “I kept thinking, ‘I hope it gets cancelled. I hope it gets cancelled.’
“بكل صراحه, I had this massive fear…it made me feel sick…
“It turned my stomach thinking about a wedding and walking down the aisle in front of all of those people again. اعتقدت, لا. I can’t think of anything worse.”
هي اضافت: “Not that Ryan is anything remotely like any three of them put together. Not an ounce of any of them. But you just start to think, ‘it must be me’.”
Kerry says her worries of being “unloved” and feeling like a “failure” are playing on her mind.
في وقت سابق من هذا الأسبوع, Kerry exclusively told The Sun that she’s been forced to put her dream Las Vegas wedding on ice until next summer.
السابق Atomic Kitten star had hoped she’d wed Ryan in Sin City this summer.
Kerry and Ryan’s plans were scuppered by the pandemic however, which has made travel to America difficult.
In an exclusive interview, Kerry said the couple now hoped to tie the knot next summer with her five children, مولي, 19, Lily, 18, هايدي, 14, الأعلى, 13, Dylan-Jorge, سبعة, by their sides.
Kerry, 40, قالت: “It’s just me, Ryan and the kids, we’re going to Vegas and Elvis will marry us.
“We want to get married as soon as we can but we can’t because of everything that is going on so it’s looking like next summer.
“If we can get married sooner, we will.
“I’ve told my mates they can come if they want but that I am not paying for anyone to fly out.
“I’ll tell you where you’re going when we know. I’m not doing any catering, I’m not planning things, I don’t want to walk down the aisle with everyone looking at me.”
Kerry, who appears on tomorrow night’s Say Yes To The Dress, said she struggled with the idea of getting married for a fourth time initially.
“I’ve done all the big weddings. I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage.”
Kerry continued: “I felt so embarrassed. I felt shame because I had been there and done that.
“But as soon as I had tried that first dress on, I was so excited about it. I am going red about it now.
“It doesn’t matter how many failed relationships you’ve had, or if your husband has died, or if your partner and you have seperated – everyone deserves to be happy.
“It was almost post traumatic stress from my third marriage. George did such a number on me. As much as I knew I wanted to be with Ryan for the rest of my life.
“I’ve done all the big weddings. I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage.
George was very fame hungry, Mark was all about the money.
“Brian was an Irish Catholic man who just wanted his missus to stay at home and look after his kids while he did whatever he wanted to do.
This is me and Ryan on the same page, doing the same things – juggling the kids, running our companies. That is a marriage.”