DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my daughter needed somewhere to escape to after leaving her violent boyfriend, I didn’t hesitate to offer her our annexe.
The last thing I expected was for her to start an affair with my boyfriend right under my nose.
I’m in a state of utter shock and feel heartbroken. I can’t believe the two people I love most would betray me like this.
Eu estou 54 and met my partner, 55, on a dating app four years ago — five years after we had both divorced. We really got each other and soon moved in together.
As we wanted a fresh start, we bought a new build with a little annexe on the south coast.
We loved the seaside walks, doing up the garden and setting up the annexe to rent out. It was all working perfectly.
But then my 25-year-old daughter rang with the news she was leaving her violent boyfriend.
We arranged for her to come to stay with us and she ended up renting the annexe.
She seemed to settle in well and got a job.
But then niggling doubts started to creep in to my mind. I began to feel uncomfortable when I noticed the banter between my partner and my daughter.
There was a lot of sexual innuendo and it didn’t feel appropriate.
They played around and joked a lot together — often at my expense.
Looking back, there were times they’d go missing together, like the time they were gone for over an hour, collecting a takeaway. They said the restaurant was busy.
Still nothing prepared me for what was really going on.
One night I came home from work to find a note propped up against the kettle, saying they had fallen in love and were together.
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So now we’ve put the house on the market and I am moving away.
I will never forgive my daughter or my partner.
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DEIDRE DIZ: This really is a horrific situation to find yourself in.
What your partner and your daughter did was wrong.
But your daughter was vulnerable after leaving an abusive boyfriend and your partner seems to have taken advantage of that.
I know that you are angry but don’t let that ruin your relationship with your daughter. She will need you again when inevitably their relationship breaks down.
MAIS DA QUERIDA DEIDRE
Do try to keep the lines of communication open with her.
My support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart, will help you to pick up the pieces and move on.