DEAR DEIDRE: MY cousin turns 60 soon and I’m in two minds over whether to give her a nice gift, as I normally do, or to ignore her special birthday altogether.
I’m 56 and female. It goes against my nature not to be generous but after years of her “forgetting” or not bothering with my birthday, I finally feel like just giving up on her.
But I don’t want it to turn into a big issue, as I know she’ll notice the lack of presents.
On the only occasion she has remembered my birthday in recent years, she tried to pass off one of my sister’s home-made knitted scarves as a shop-bought gift specially for me.
I actually wish she hadn’t bothered.
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The big irony is that she is much richer than me, goes on five holidays a year and drives a new car.
I’m lucky to get away once and I rely on public transport.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Some people simply aren’t as considerate as others – even if they don’t mean to insult or hurt those who make a big effort with them.
Rather than make a big statement by giving nothing, or feeling resentful by buying another lovely gift that you know won’t be reciprocated, could you simply send a card?
Sixty is a big birthday so it would be nice to mark the occasion with a lovely message that chimes with your generous nature.