DEAR DEDIRE: WHEN I realised my fiancé had booked a Christmas holiday abroad, I got really excited. But now I’ve learned it’s only for him, his daughter and granddaughter.
When I saw the payment on our bank statement, I thought he meant to surprise me – but he said I’m not included.
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I work in retail and can’t get time off at this busy time of year, but he could have at least asked me to try.
I am 44 and he is 47. We have been together for six years. His daughter is 25 and a single mum to a girl of five.
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At the very least, I would have appreciated a discussion before he booked it.
Now I’ll be coming back to an empty home from Christmas Eve right through to New Year’s Eve.
I am really upset but my fiancé has no remorse and thinks I am over-reacting.
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DEIDRE SAYS: At the very least, he was inconsiderate. But perhaps he knew how you would react so decided not to discuss it with you first.
Maybe he is being selfish arranging the trip without considering your views, but he may also have thought this was a Christmas treat for his daughter and his grandchild.
Ask him to discuss commitments like this with you first in the future and show him the benefits of communicating by remaining calm but firm.
Suggest you both talk about ways you can enjoy some downtime together on his return and perhaps plan your own trip together.