DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE being a content creator on OnlyFans but now my new boyfriend is forcing me to choose – a career in porn, or him.
I made my account during my final year at university. I didn’t want to graduate while drowning in debt.
But I’ve grown to love what I do and now I’m 25.
I really enjoy the opportunity to be creative, and the fact that I’m my own boss.
My confidence has certainly grown too. Plus, I’ve made a ton of money.
Most guys I date like what I do for work, initially, but become jealous as they grow attached.
I was fed up with being asked to choose between a relationship or my career, so gave up on dating for a bit. Then in March I met my current partner.
My brother had a spare ticket to a football match and invited me along.
I spent the whole game flirting with the guy next to me. He’s 29, a carpenter, and has a body to die for.
As we were leaving, he asked for my number, and since then, we’ve met up every few days.
I was relieved when his response to my job was “Good for you”, but now, like all the rest, it seems he’s changing his mind.
Last night he asked: “How long do you think you’ll do OnlyFans for?”
Then he admitted he didn’t mind my work for now, but would not want me sharing pictures and videos online if we have kids.
He’s also asked me to lie about what I do when I meet his family.
I do want children and I was hoping to start trying for a baby in a year or so.
I’m annoyed that yet again I’m being asked to choose between my job and a relationship.
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I’ve never felt like this for anyone before, and really think he could be the one for me.
But will I grow to resent him if I give up a job I love, and my financial freedom?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Most healthy and happy relationships involve compro-mise.
If the thought of giving up your job for this relationship makes you feel resentful then you probably aren’t ready.
Ultimately, it has to be your decision to find a new career.
Can you see yourself doing anything else? Is this lifestyle going to work for you in the long run?
And as you want children, ask yourself how they would feel if you were still making adult content.
It might help to talk things through with someone impartial, so I’m sending you my support pack, How Counselling Can Help.