My sex drive has vanished since giving birthit’s ruining our relationship

CHER DEIDRE: SINCE I gave birth, my sex drive has disappeared, and it’s ruining my relationship.

I dread going to bed because I know my husband will come on to me.

Je suis 32 et il est 38. We have a son who is a year old, and I’m still breastfeeding.

My husband is still just as attractive as ever – I just have zero interest in sex.

We used to make love several times a week.

I did try after my six-week check-up, because he was so keen, but it hurt.

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That’s put me off trying again.

We’re no longer close and I’m scared I’ll lose him.

I’m even considering telling him to sleep with other women, to save my marriage.

DEIDRE DIT: It’s very common to lose your libido and for sex to be painful while you’re breastfeeding because it lowers oestrogen (the key hormone for arousal and vaginal lubrication).

Don’t tell him to have sex with other women – that’s the surefire way to ruin your marriage.

À la place, ask him to be patient, explain how you’re feeling, and explore things other than sex which you can do to be intimate.

Mon pack d'assistance, Saving Your Sex Life, should help.