親愛なるDEIDRE: IT is difficult enough witnessing the rapid deterioration of my sister, but the hurt her own daughter is causing is unbearable.
私の姉, 51, has Parkinson’s and is going downhill fast.
She can’t walk at all unaided, and even struggles to hold a fork.
I’m her brother, 54. We have always been close and I’ve been very involved in her two daughters’ childhoods as she was a single parent.
So I can’t quite believe that her eldest daughter, 24, makes so little effort with her.
She rarely returns her calls, hasn’t visited since before the pandemic and quite frankly is so self-absorbed she doesn’t seem to care that her actions hurt her mum so much.
My other niece does visit regularly – thank goodness.
I’ve called her daughter and left a message suggesting that mum would really appreciate a visit. She hasn’t even replied.
DEIDRESAYS: Your niece could be distancing herself because she is scared or worried about upsetting her mum.
She could be struggling to come to terms with her mum’s diagnosis.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
I know it seems as if she has forgotten about her mum, which I doubt, but this is probably her way of coping.
Try to keep your communication non-judgmental and light, ask how she is coping and perhaps offer to help her with a visit?