My wife was gorgeous but now she doesn’t brush her hair and has put on weight

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I met my wife, she was absolutely gorgeous – slim and toned with long, curly blonde hair.

My brother used to joke that you have to look at young women’s mums to see how they are going to age. Back then I’d laugh off what he said but now, when I look at my wife, I see her mother. I’m 43 and she’s 41. We have three daughters all under ten.

Our sex life is non-existent and I don’t fancy her anymore

Our sex life is non-existent and I don’t fancy her anymore

She doesn’t do any sport anymore. Some days she doesn’t even brush her hair and she’s put on weight.

She’s unmotivated, uninterested in seeing friends or leaving the house. Our sex life is non-existent and I don’t fancy her any more.

I have started to eye up other women, but would never actually stray. Is there anything I can do to help her?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound as if your wife could be suffering from depression – if she has stopped taking pride in her appearance, that is a classic sign of the condition.

With three daughters, life will be exhausting. It is easy for busy parents to neglect their own needs.

Could you arrange things so you or someone trusted can take care of them regularly?

That way your wife would have time for sport and self-care.

You can also both get support through Mind (, 0300 123 3393) which helps those suffering from mental health problems, as well as their families.

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