OVER a hundred new Pokémon were introduced in Scarlet and Violet and whether you like them or not is a matter of taste.
We’ve already talked about some of the Pokémon designs, types and abilities we love, but there are some that we’re not big fans of.
We can celebrate the hits while also acknowledging the misses.
When the world was introduced to Lechonk, it instantly fell in love with the chubby lad.
As a round, chubby friend who loves nothing more than sleeping, I think we could all relate.
On release, we got to see its long-awaited evolution, and the sigh of disappointment was almost palpable.
Why The Pokémon Company thought we wanted a sassy pig with a full face of make-up, I will never know.
As part of the marketing for Scarlet and Violet, we were introduced to one of the gym leaders Iono, who gave us a quiz about her partner Pokémon.
Many believed it must be connected to a previous Pokémon – my personal hope being the Dunsparce evolution we finally received – as there is no way to guess a completely fresh ‘mon.
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Instead, we were greeted with the abomination that is Belibolt, which, aside from looking weird, has almost nothing going for it battlewise.
It also constantly ruins our solo Tera-raid attempts with its slow ability and consistent attempts to paralyse a shielded beast.
It seems the law that you have to have some very underwhelming early game Bug-types, but Spidops is setting the bar very low.
We really didn’t need Spidops in an area that also carries Spewpa, one of the game’s other worst Bug-types.
It evolves early enough, but it has a slow experience curve meaning it’s painful to get there.
Once you arrive, you are rewarded with this, in what I can only assume is a trolling attempt.
Cute Flittle gave us a lot of hope. Looking like a sweet bell, that gave us Hatterene or Gardevoir vibes.
Then it inexplicably turns into an ostrich with a Mystic Meg haircut, and then we realised that Flittle wasn’t a bell, but an egg in a skirt.
This realisation alone felt a lot, but then you have Espathra’s ability, Opportunist.
Usually a great ability that mimics positive stat changes, with the awful pacing and lag of battles, Opportunist interactions can take 30 seconds alone.
Pawmi is another Pikachu. An Electric-type or Pikachu-esque cutesy ‘mon that you find near the start of your adventure.
In its first stage, it is incredibly defensively poor and difficult to keep alive in the early game. Yes, it’s worse than Diglett defensively.
When you compare it to Marill, Morpeko, or Mimikyu, Pawmi just doesn’t stack up.
Aside from that, it just stands up more as it evolves, which is as lazy as adding an extra section to Dunsparce, but not nearly as funny.
Mabosstiff is regal, proud, loyal, and powerful, leaving aside its touching story as part of the Titans storyline.
Maschiff, on the other hand, looks sad and tired with its head hanging to the side and a depressed look on its face.
Did we need another Dark-type that’s just a dog? Probably not.
Dark-type dogs are probably on the ‘run out of ideas list’ just below electric mice, and thing with a face on it.
The one thing you can say about Crocalor, is it is perhaps the only middle starter evolution that is truly memorable.
However, it’s for all the wrong reasons, as our sweet, stupid lad Fuecoco grows up into a hideous monster.
After much debate we guess it’s wearing a flaming sombrero, but it’s not exactly easy to tell.
Skeledirge is fairly weird as well, but at least is has some character.
Swimming swiftly through the water, its metal body glistening as it goes, it strikes you before you’ve seen it.
Everyone’s favourite Water/Psychic-type with very average speed Veluza.
Aside from being a thoroughly underwhelming single-stage ‘mon, its appearance is nothing like its abilities, stats or type.
Pull it together Veloser. We need some consistency.
Words don’t really describe how much Scovillain upsets me, with a face that rivals Maschiff in moodiness.
The funny pun for a name is decent, but it’s what we in the community call a MANS – a mixed attacker with no speed.
Being a MANS is a bad thing. It means that as a Pokémon you are almost entirely useless.
Just take the first battle lesson at the academy of your choice, and you’ll be told that choosing neither physical nor special is a disservice to Pokémon. And it’s hideous.
I love Mega Man. I love shooting my blaster. I love jumping on the platforms. I love using Rush Jet to cruise over levels.
This isn’t Mega Man. This is Pokémon. And Pokémon usually have a unique look that distinguish them.
This is not Digimon, where there are thousands of beasts, many of which end their digivolution as just some dude.
But I don’t want to play with some dude. I want to play with Amy Rose with a hammer made of Corviknight.
Written by Georgina Young on behalf of GLHF.
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