GELIEWE DEIDRE: I’VE finally realised that my abusive husband doesn’t love me, but I’m too afraid to leave.
Last week he got angry for no reason, wrecked our home and hit me in the stomach.
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Ek is 44, hy is 47. We’ve been married for 20 years and our kids have grown up and left.
He was always controlling but has become a lot worse lately, which coincides with heavier drinking.
His violence was the last straw.
He says he loves me but I think he just needs me, and doesn’t want to let me go.
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He lies and cheats and when I confront him, he makes me feel like I’m going mad.
I know he’ll try to stop me leaving. What can I do?
Mees gelees in Beste Deidre
DEIDRE SYS: You’re not going mad. Your husband is “gaslighting” you, which is what abusive partners do to keep control.
But now that he has become violent too, you are clearly in real danger.
Read more Dear Deidre
Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk) can advise you how to leave him safely, and give you emotional support.
My ondersteuningspakket, Abusive Relationships, will also help.