期待」タグアーカイブ

双子を期待していた – それから片方は死産、もう片方は私の腕の中で死にました

WHEN Marsha Camilleri and fiancé, Shawn Moore found out they were expected twinsthey were over the moon.

They were excited to welcome the new additions and to give their toddler Sebi some younger siblings.

Marsha Camilleri and partner Shawn Moore were excited when they fell pregnant with twins

Marsha Camilleri and partner Shawn Moore were excited when they fell pregnant with twinsクレジット: PA Real Life
悲しいことに, Marsha lost her two twins and is now telling her story to mark baby loss awareness week. She is pictured above with her two children Sibi and Zach

悲しいことに, Marsha lost her two twins and is now telling her story to mark baby loss awareness week. She is pictured above with her two children Sibi and Zachクレジット: PA Real Life

But in January 2020, Marsha, 今 40, went in to early labour at just 23 数週間 妊娠中.

Complications with the boysshared blood supply meant neither survivedwith John-Paul stillborn and Christopher dying in Marsha’s arms just half an hour later.

今, Marsha, who lives in Sutton, 南 ロンドン, is telling her story in order to keep the memory of her little boys alive.

She also hopes to help other grieving mothers speak about the devastation of baby loss.

The week beginning October 10 is Baby Loss Awareness Week and Shauna Leven, chief executive of Twins Trust, said it is an important week for families toreflect and remember”.

Marsha, who lives with Shawn, Sebi, now four, and their rainbow baby, 18-month-old Zach, 前記: “Everyone expects you to move on after losing a baby, but that doesn’t mean you forget them.

I carried my boys for five-and-a-half months, I gave birth to them and I held them and loved them.

It gives me comfort knowing I’m helping someone who is in an earlier stage of grief than me, but also it’s acknowledging my boys and keeping their memories alive by talking about them.

最初は, when the couple fell pregnant, they were shocked but excited.

Marsha said she had been a little 気になる about having twins, but that everything had been going smoothly.

By the start of January, the family had been looking at double prams and working out how to facilitate twins.

But on January 24, Marsha noticed she had bled a little, so headed straight to the antenatal clinic.

It was like the world collapsed

Marsha Camilleri

She was kept in overnight, but the next day, she started to have 収縮going into early labour.

彼女は言いました: “Everything was fine at that point and they scanned me and said the twins were actually identical, which we didn’t know.

But then they realised one of the twins was receiving more blood than his brother.

The excess blood flow to one of the twins, John-Paul, was too much for him to handle and devastatingly meant he was stillborn.

彼女は言いました: “I didn’t understand what was happening.

One minute everything was OK, and the next we lost one of our boys.

It was like the world collapsed.

しばらくして, Christopher was born, but he was severely anaemic due to the lack of blood flow.

Despite doctorsbest efforts, he also died.

How to help someone who has experienced baby loss

Baby loss can take many, agonising forms – 流産, stillbirth and ectopic pregnancies to name a few.

One in four couples will have to face losing a baby to miscarriage – 前 23 数週間, according to the charity Tommy’s.

And for some women life can be even more cruel with one in 100 suffering recurrent miscarriages, defined as three in a row.

その間, ectopic pregnancieswhere an embryo implants outside the wombhappen in around 11 に 1,000 妊娠.

And one in every 225 pregnancies end in stillbirththat’s nine stillborn babies born each day in the UK.

Behind these statistics lies incalculable heartache and trauma.

It can be hard to know what to say to someone who is struggling and Dr Pam Spurr said there are things you can do to be supportive.

So what can you do to help?

1. Be honest and simply say you’re lost for wordsit’s far better than saying something that will cause more upset

2. Tell them you’re there for them

3. Ask how you can help

4. Tell them you don’t want to intrude on their grief but that you’re there to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on

5. Remember saying ‘time healsdoesn’t helpit’s better to say, ‘I don’t know what to say

6. Don’t stay silent and say nothingthat can be worse than anything, it makes such a difference to hear someone is there for you

7. Suggest they check out charities like Tommy’s そして Saving Goodbye for advice, support and information.

Marsha said: “I was praying Christopher would still be with us and they tried to keep him with us but there wasn’t anything else they could do.

We were heartbroken.

The family had the boys christened and took foot and handprints of them.

It was when Marsha returned home without her babies that she said she felt overwhelmed with grief.

彼女は言いました: “しばらくの間, I just kept telling myself it wasn’t real.

Marsha added: “I felt robbed of my babies and being a mum to them.

I had planned the next 18 years of my life and theirs, and suddenly you’re going home empty-handed.

Over everything, she said she felt isolated, noticing that people really didn’t know what to say to her.

‘NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

They say all the wrong thingslike ‘It must have been God’s will’, or ‘Everything happens for a reasonor ‘You’re young enough to fall pregnant again’.

I know they mean well, but it made me so angry.

It felt like no-one understood what I was going through.

During her pregnancy, Marsha had signed up to a lot of emails and one day, she received one from the charity Twins Trust.

She emailed back to stop the emails coming and was then referred to a bereavement group on フェイスブック.

I just started off reading other women’s stories and people saying how they felt, and I couldn’t believe how many people had lost a baby.

It felt like this safe space for me to go, where I didn’t need to explain myself.

The support other mums gave Marsha encouraged her earlier this year to sign herself up as abefrienderto other recently bereaved mums.

Marsha said: “Even now, two-and-a-half years later, I still use the group and attend the online sessions and talk about everyday thingsbut with people who understand.

“今, I get matched up with a mum who has recently had a loss, and talk one-on-one together, whether it is a call or email, to try and help them through their journey.

It is so important we acknowledge the babies we lost because there is still such a taboo and lack of understanding.

If I can help one person, that would mean the world to me.

Marsha now wants to help others who have shared her experience. Marsha, Shawn and their sons, Sebi and Zach.

Marsha now wants to help others who have shared her experience. Marsha, Shawn and their sons, Sebi and Zach.クレジット: PA Real Life