亲爱的迪德: OUR wedding album has just arrived and I should be poring over it excitedly.
反而, I’m regretting this big mistake.
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I’m living a lie, pretending I’m happy when I’m not.
我是 34 and my husband’s 36, we’ve been together for 13 years and have a son aged seven. We married only three months ago.
多年, I was smitten with my husband and thought we had a solid relationship.
But five years ago when our son was two and I was pregnant with our second, I discovered he was cheating on me.
It was horrendous when the woman he was seeing messaged me to tell me she was finishing with my husband — who she’d had an affair with for six months.
He admitted everything and apologised once but then expected me to get on with life and forgive him.
I was in such a state of hurt and confusion I decided to have a termination — at that point I didn’t want us to stay together.
然后, 随着时间的推移, I realised I wanted my son to live with both his parents, so we stayed together and I did my best to look to the future.
But not a day goes by when I don’t think about him betraying me, or the baby I killed.
It eats away at me. Part of me hates my husband.
We no longer have a sex life and most nights he sleeps in the spare room.
We don’t have a friendship, let alone a relationship.
Our marriage feels like a complete sham, pushed by my husband who wanted to marry far more than I did. He thinks we’re fine.
迪德说: Couples can survive the trauma of an affair if they commit to taking an honest look at their relationship.
You have brushed your issues under the carpet but attempting to keep a lid on all that pain simply leaves it simmering and festering.
Have an honest discussion with him. Explain how his affair affects you, and the guilt you carry for having an abortion.
He maybe wanted to marry you to give you the reassurance you need.
You will never forget his affair but my support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains how to get your marriage back on track.
Having a termination usually leads to mixed feelings. You have suffered a genuine loss.
It doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision, but my support pack Termination You Regret will help you.