LIEBE DEIDRE: Just one week after my wedding, I found out my new husband was cheating on me with one of our wedding guests.
Now I don’t know if I should leave or try to make our marriage work.
Ich bin 29 Mein Mann hat mich betrogen, aber wir können nicht darüber reden, da er an Demenz leidet 34. We got married in September, nach drei Jahren zusammen.
He was the love of my life and I trusted him implicitly.
But that all changed when, during our honeymoon, I decided to look at his Instagram on his phone.
When I went to log in, I realised he had a second account, which I wasn’t aware of.
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To my horror, I saw that there was not a single picture of our wedding or, schlechter, of me. It was as if I didn’t exist in his life.
I scrolled down to see photo after photo of another woman – a woman who had been on his friends’ table at our wedding.
A woman who’d come up to me to congratulate me!
It was clear from the pictures they were intimate.
Some of the photos dated back years. But others were much more recent – I could tell from what my husband was wearing (a top I’d given him) and his facial hair.
Trips he claimed he’d made for work – a conference in Harrogate last Spring, beispielsweise – were actually dirty weekends away with her.
I wanted to throw up from Schock.
I confronted him and he denied it at first, finally confessing when I collapsed crying.
He has begged for my forgiveness, and he swears the Affäre ended before the wedding and that the weekend in Harrogate was a last goodbye.
He’s also promised to cut this woman out of his life.
But I don’t know if I can believe a word he says. The trust is gone.
My friends say our relationship can never recover. Should I weggehen jetzt?
DEIDRE SAGT: It is possible for some couples to recover from cheating – as my support pack, Cheating, Can you Get Over It? erklärt.
jedoch, your husband was having an affair right up until your wedding day, only confessed because you found out, and even let you meet the other woman on the day of your marriage.
Not to mention that he has an Instagram account devoted to his other life, in which you don’t even feature.
That is a lot to forgive.
I wonder if someone so adept at lying really has a conscience, or can change.
If you are going to give your marriage a go, or even if you decide to walk away, I think you need some professional support.
Consider relationship counselling – alone and/or together – um Ihnen zu helfen, Ihre Gefühle zu verarbeiten.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (www.tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).