DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE fallen for a neighbour and we kissed during my brother’s wedding.
But he is in a relationship, an extremely abusive one.
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I already knew his wife was very aggressive towards him and their son, although even I was shocked when she slapped him across the face in front of everyone at the do.
She’s 40 and her husband’s 31. I’m 24. We’ve lived next door to them for five years.
He is such a lovely guy — kind, considerate and quiet — and we have similar interests in music and films so often chat for hours.
But when they are at home together all we ever hear through the walls is his wife yelling at him.
There was a free bar at the wedding and she was really knocking back wine.
When the DJ asked all the women to find a dance partner, my 19-year-old cousin grabbed my neighbour. But his wife went mad.
When her little boy came over and interrupted his mother going full-tilt, he got a smack.
Then, when her husband protested, he got the full force of her palm across his face. It was awful. My dad and uncle took her outside and my auntie said she’d drive her home.
I went and sat with our neighbour and the party continued.
When we went outside for some fresh air, he told me his marriage was over and that he had always fancied me. We kissed when nobody was looking.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him, so I messaged him. I told him I enjoyed the kiss.
But, unbeknown to either of us, his wife saw it while my auntie was struggling to start the car.
The next day, she came charging round, banging on my front door.
When she tried to take a lunge at me, I slammed the door in her face.
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Since then she has apparently been questioned by the police for hitting her child and social services are involved.
I feel so sad for my neighbour. He’s blocked me on everything now.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is very sad but you can’t get involved.
Violence is never acceptable in a relationship but if he is choosing to stay with her, that is up to him.
He’s married so he’s off-limits.
But if you see him again, you could encourage him to find help through Mankind Initiative (mankind.org.uk, 01823 334244) which helps men escape domestic violence.
If you are looking for a relationship, network through your friends to find somebody who is free to have an open and honest time with you.
My support pack Finding The Love Of Your Life explains more.