CARO DEIDRE: I’VE been having great sex with women I pick up while working, but can’t perform with my wife.
I’m a man of 37. My wife is 34 and beautiful but since she had our son three years ago, she isn’t interested in intimacy.
She had a C-section and says that when they opened her up, they “cut out” her sex drive.
I work as a rep selling hair products to hairdressers.
I’m a good-looking guy and travel across the country, often staying in hotels.
I get lonely so I take off my wedding ring and often ask women at my salons out for a drink.
If I get lucky, io spend the night con loro.
Their ages range from 19 per 30. The sex is great and I never have a problem with these women.
I leave them satisfied and sometimes we hook up a second time if I go back with more hairdressing supplies.
I tell them it’s just a bit of fun so they don’t expect anything.
I miss my wife when I travel and when I’m home, I sometimes try to have sex with her.
With a bit of persuasion, she might try with the lights off. But more often than not, my wedding tackle lets me down.
She doesn’t seem to mind because she’s never bothered about the intercourse. Sometimes she just gives me what I want because she feels it’s her duty.
Our sex life was awesome before we became parents and I hoped that would continue.
But perhaps this is part of normal grown-up life?
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I don’t understand what’s going on for me, anche se. I don’t want to cheat but I can’t live without sex.
Can any man of my age? What do you recommend?
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DEIDRE DICE: Stop the cheating.
Your erectile dysfunction is most likely linked to the guilt you feel over cheating on your wife.
Have you asked her why she is no longer interested in sex?
She clearly does not feel body-confident because when it comes to sex, she is only willing with the lights off.
Support her through this. Tell her she is beautiful and you still fancy her.
Let her know you are missing the connection you once had and would love to reconnect. Ask her what you can do to get her in the mood again.
You are jeopardising your own sexual health and hers by sleeping around.
And have you considered how damaging it would be if one of these women got pregnant?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
So stop the cheating and focus purely on your wife and what you can do together.
My support packs Can’t Be Faithful? and Sex Problems After A Baby may help you.