FAMILY time can be a lot.
Everyone is in each other’s business, boundaries are ignored, and we often leave these gatherings feeling drained.
One woman named Chrissy Horton, 我希望你对自己感到高兴 @hortonlane 在TikTok上, is known for her mothering tips and pregnancy advice.
A question she often gets is: “Just had a baby and my mother-in-law has no respect for my boundaries. What do I do?”
Her answer is always the same.
“When it comes to setting boundaries with your in-laws, your spouse needs to do it, not you.”
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Chrissy said you don’t need to be the bad guy in this situation.
“This is their family, and if the family already has issues with you, this is just going to cause more issues.
“Your spouse needs to be the one protecting you and sticking up for you.”
This also shows that the two of you are united in your thinking—you are a team.
“This is their boundary too. Not just yours.”
问题是, 然而, that sometimes you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye.
He or she might think you’re overreacting or reading into things too much and causing unnecessary problems.
Chrissy said it’s important to “get on the same page.”
“I don’t know how you do that. Communicate, share why you feel this way. And then once you’re on the same page, they need to communicate this to their family.”
Too many times, the expert said, grandparents feel a sense of entitlement over “their” grandchild.
“不, 不, 不. That is mom’s baby. Mom went through so much to have that baby. That baby was a part of her, and that baby will always be a part of her.”
For all you in-laws who feel like your daughter-in-law has too many rules around her newborn, Chrissy has some parting words of wisdom:
“Maybe, just maybe, if you tried respecting them as a person and not an incubator for your grandchild, they wouldn’t feel the need to have all of these boundaries.”