親愛なるDEIDRE: MY wife has left me for the second time after assuring me repeatedly I was the one she wanted.
I’m devastated and can’t imagine life without her.
わたし 42 そして彼女は 40. We’ve been together since we were 18 and have two boys aged 13 そして 11.
彼女は親切だ, caring and loving. I would have put money on us spending the rest of our lives together.
We know each other inside-out so I sensed straight away something was wrong a few months ago.
Reluctantly, she admitted things had changed and she felt the spark had gone. She told me we should work on our relationship.
I was focused on helping out more and giving her plenty of attention but then I found a man’s T-shirt in her suitcase after she came home from a work trip.
It turns out that when she visits her company’s HQ in London she often stays with this other man.
After the truth came out, she left me — but swore blind her fling was over. We kept talking and after a week, she came back. For the sake of our children, she agreed to try fixing our relationship, including family days out and us having regular sex.
I thought we were getting through the hurt but then I found messages on her phone talking about how much she missed this guy.
We had another showdown and she admitted she still had feelings for her colleague.
But she insisted she wanted to stay with me, saying all the right things. We even booked a holiday together.
でも今, 突然, she has announced she loves this man and does not love me.
I thought things had improved between us and, 決定的に, the children were happy.
Now I’m back at rock-bottom.
I have begged her to reconsider. The pain is too much.
DEIDRESAYS: Of course you are feeling hurt and rejected. Being deceived is hard to take but your wife has twice proved she is not to be trusted.
She is entirely responsible for the choices she made but each time you take her back, she may think what she is doing is not a big problem.
She knows she has behaved badly but if she insists she isn’t coming back, there is not much you can do to make her change her mind.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
You need to think about your children’s wellbeing in all this. There is no justice in it but you have to tread carefully if you want her to remain an involved parent.
You can get help with all these issues via relate.org.uk.