Merk argiewe: Strokedestroyedpartnersleave

Stroke has destroyed my partner’s lifeand mine too, I want to leave

GELIEWE DEIDRE: I NO longer want to be with my partner since he suffered a stroke.

He used to be fun, sweet, kind and confident, but everything has changed.

I feel trapped after his stroke ruined our lives

I feel trapped after his stroke ruined our lives

Ek is 51 and my partner is 56. He now doesn’t understand humour, he doesn’t laugh at my jokes or even get them.

He can’t speak fluently so we can’t discuss anything, let alone have the lively chats we used to enjoy.

We have not had sex since his stroke last year.

If we break up he’d have to go into sheltered accommodation and he’s extremely unlikely to meet anyone else.

There’s no guarantee I would either.

His stroke has destroyed both of our lives, his more obviously but mine too.

There’s a slim chance I could improve my life but that would be at the expense of his happiness, such as it is.

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I’m so emotionally torn right now and feel so guilty even putting these feelings down.

But I really do feel very trapped.

DEIDRE SYS: You have been through a very distressing time and I can understand you want to feel emotionally free.

His stroke is just as life-changing for you as it is for him, which will put your relationship under a lot of strain.

It’s natural to be frightened about the implications of his stroke, but he may yet recover more.

You need support of your own before you make any life-changing decisions.

Find help through the Stroke Association (, 0303 3033 100).