DEAR DEIDRE: MY sexual fantasy is to have sex with my stepdad. I know it is wrong, but I can’t help myself.
I’ve already tried it on with him and made up a story that I needed him to come into my bedroom to fix my bedside light.
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I was a little bit drunk at the time and when he was standing next to my bed, I got behind him and shut the door.
I started kissing him, but he pulled away. I whispered to him that I wanted him to undress me, but he refused and looked shocked.
He said “This is so wrong, we should stop.”
We stopped for a moment but then I leaned into him and pushed him backwards towards my bed.
I managed to get on top of him and was pulling down his shorts. I could tell he was weakening.
The excitement was overwhelming and I wanted to perform oral sex on him but the next thing I knew, he was pushing me off him.
I realised I had gone too far when he threw me a look of utter confusion, got off the bed and made for the door.
I am 22 and my stepdad is 45. My mum is 47 and has been with my stepdad since my parents divorced three years ago.
Since then I’m convinced I keep feeling his eyes all over me.
I’m sure he fancies me and I’m planning to try and seduce him one more time.
Don’t tell me this is wrong – I like him so much. He is kind and gentle. I can’t stop thinking about him.
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I’d even love to have his baby, but I know if my mum or anyone else in my family found out they would never forgive us.
Still I can’t help myself.
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DEIDRE SAYS: End this madness now before you destroy your mum.
He’s in a relationship with her and of all people, you and he should know better.
Your mum would be betrayed by the two people she should be able to trust the most.
Force yourself to think honestly about just how dire it will be if your mum discovers what you’ve been up to, which she will if you let it continue.
It could well spell the end of her relationship, with all sorts of miserable emotional repercussions.
Your family will be appalled, and this could hang over you for years.
They’ll never think the same of you again.
Tell him you feel so guilty, and it won’t happen again and avoid him as much as possible.
Make sure you are never alone with him.
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Keep yourself busy by getting out and meeting friends and other family.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free will help you to think this through.